FINALLY LAST ONE FROM THE OLD BLOG

Sunday, November 8, 2009 since nobody... is reading my blog, I will just write whatever I want whatever is in my head, my feelings my depressions, that will keep people way for sure, but what's the point, my life suck so bad, that I can't even think other words anymore, sometimes I ask God why not just take me from here, what is the point of all this, leaving like this, like looser, like a big pathetic looser I don't even know if I am spelling looser right, don't care, i am just really tired of leaving meaningless shit life. there I said it, more like I wrote it, typed actually, blah blah blah.

OLD OLD STILL FROM BLOG

Wednesday, November 4, 2009 Bad Dreams or just very weird dreams? last night I had the most weird dream as long I can remember... "people were being smashed in some kinda of metal thing, can't really describe, there were car crashs that would blend them like soup or mash potato in color of blood, and I could see the soup dripping on the floor and I remember being terrified that, that could happen to me.. " I wonder if it means anything?!?!

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GREAT SITE FOR QUOTES I love quotes, I used to carry around with me a notebook, and everytime I'd see a quote a liked, I would write it down, I haven't been doing that anymore, but I found this website with great quotes from movies, life quotes and etc. Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. William Shakespeare Life is what happens to you While you're busy making other plans. John Lennon We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill Where there is love there is life. Indira Gandhi The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss. Thomas Carlyle this is just a few, here's the link. http://www.allgreatquotes.com/life_quotes.shtml

STILL OLD POST FROM OLD BLOG..

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 Michael Weatherly Happy Birthday I could not forget to make a blog wishing one of my favorite actors, Michael Weatherly a very happy birthday. Michael was born in July 08, 1968, he plays Anthony DiNozzo in one of the hottest show on Television, NCIS. Turning 41 today and he looks better than never. Happy Birthday Michael and many many blessings for you.

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EIGHT AND LAST ONE Tuesday, April 15, 2008 MY MASK I was dying on the inside so I put on a mask so that people would not see it... but I noticed I was dead and now I cry my death.... I look everywhere and all I see is a rotten world and I am part of this rotten life while I still here... I don't know much to say, only that I am really weak for not being or not .... I think I just don't exist in this world. You know when you feel there's something missing like a piece of you? I am this way I feel there's something missing, nothing seems real, I cant be sure of anything, if I have my feet on the ground or if I am wake or dreaming, its not the reality I wanted to live, I look myself in the mirror and I just don't like what I see in that reflection and at the same time, I am not what I wanted to be, not even close, I didn't do things that I wanted to, I did things that I did not wanted to do, I did bad things and I have to live with that, with this moments for the rest of my life. I lived through horrible moments that I just cant shake them off, I don't know if I will ever be able to forget, moments that made my life, myself into nothing, today I cant get answers for those questions that wont leave my mind, who am I? maybe just a crazy woman who doesn't know what she wants, maybe none of this has meaning, but maybe the hole in my heart my soul will be fulfilled when I live life. but do you think that anyone knows about this? no nobody only me and this blog, people who will read, even if someone I know reads this blog they wont know its me. I have no one to turn... that's why I wear this mask, so everyone thinks its fine, but they don't know that I am dead on the inside.

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SEVEN Tuesday, April 15, 2008 I wish you could see inside of me. Lyric Inside Of Me - General Sih I cannot, explain, what, I feel when im close to you What i'1l do I cannot, not breath No words to say Everytime i see your face, i see your face I have to love you, but inside of me I cannot tell you, i want to I wish someone for you That cares the way i wanted I want to do, i want you I know that, I have to, To love you But inside of me Please don't tell me again I'll take care, about yourself But far away I wish you'll be okay, you'll be okay! I have to love you, but inside of me I cannot tell you, i want to I wish someone for you That cares the way i wanted I want to do, i want you When I see you I dont know what to do I just look at you Wishin' one day Be near from you I have to love you, but inside of me I cannot tell you, i want to I wish someone for you That cares the way i wanted I want to do, i want you!

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SIX Tuesday, April 15, 2008 NATASHA BEDINGFIELD LYRICS "Unwritten" I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten Oh, oh, oh I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten The rest is still unwritten The rest is still unwritten Oh, yeah, yeah

COPYING STILL OLD BLOG

FIVE Thursday, April 10, 2008 IT'S TIME TO LOVE Goddess of love.... help me find.... a true prince........ to give love....... and lots of kisses............ and all in name of happiness............ to be someone I always imagined........ just a guy with dreams like me............ with open heart.......... and send my loneless way from me......... it doesn't have to be someone from another planet........ I just want him to love me the way that I am........... it's time to love....... I waited my whole life....... just to tell you........ it's time to love......... everything I look........... I will find in you.......... it's time to love....... come and wake me up with a kiss......... whoever you are....... come and wake me up with a kiss.......... it's you that I want........... I need a friend right now.......... if you connect, stay......... because to be lonely is dangerous........ Show me what's love, teach me to live......... in exchange I'll give all the kisses I never gave....... give me attention, welcome to my heart....... just give me love I'll follow you anywhere........

STILL OLD BLOG

FOUR Thursday, April 10, 2008 FALLING BACK SIX STEPS I thought I had find someone to love, to love me, but I was wrong...... I had one week of happiness, all I have now is pain, I've falling six steps, and does not feel good. when we find someone so different... and that person is so special.... I feel this passion.... and gets so hot....... and my heart beats so fast.... suddenly you look at me... take my hand and I say yes..... I am not touching the ground... my love has no cure..... I am crazy for you........

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STILL THREE Saturday, March 1, 2008 Simply Me. Trapped inside this web of lies Too far lost in my own mind I will follow where you lead Although I've tried I can't succeed. My heart is entwined with thorns and vines Confusion grows with every line My spirit lifts away from me Tangled in mist which cannot be seen. Corrupted by immoral expectation Don't come to my life without invitation The things you say are so discreet Though you never think before you speak Courageously you approach my feet I have no strength, you make me weak. I want to forgive you But I cannot feel You've sunk to deep I cannot heal. Inside my secrets are concealed It burns to see you face I want to hide from everything And no longer be disgraced. I only wish you could understand The feelings I have for you The calm I feel when I hold your hand Longing to know the truth. You cannot change who I am Nor what I've become Label me as you wish But I'm not the only one. Falling faster from your grace You don't know what it's like You'll never know the real me Only my stereotype. Don't quote me as someone you've known before Or someone you've seen on TV I'm not the girl you think I am I'm who I want to be. Someone you'll never understand With my own individuality I'm the one you've always dread I am simply me. AUTHOR UNKNOWN.

STILL COPYING FROM THE OLD BLOG.

that was the second Thursday, February 28, 2008 MESS My life is a mess, most of the days i don't want to get out of bed. i feel depress, but my depression it's not that kind that people are sad the whole time, people around me don't even know don't see, what i am going through, I just want to move on, live my life without having to fantasise about some other life that Iwould want to have, i am afraid that i am escaping reality and scares me that there's moments where i really believe, i am there, what if i don't come back, what ifi stayed there for ever? that's why i have decide to seek professionalhelp, and hope that i can deal with whatever it is that have to deal. and go on.

COPYING FROM AN OLD BLOG I CAN'T ACCESS ANYMORE..

my very first blog Tuesday, January 1, 2008 the you that you look at me------------- (I wish) you dont look at me you are so far away it's not gonna work ----------------------oh yes it would whats the point?-------------------------the point is that I love you broken hearts know when is going to rain-------no, I dont step carefully on my heart-------------------it's ok you can do whatever you want so that you wont hurt my grass--------------I rather you hurt me, than not do anything at all I'll give cover when you need-----------------anything you want and you need just call-------------------------I really wish you would do it anytime. I warn you-------------------------- take care------------------ if failed--------------------------------- why go look for something out there------------- because you can have anything you want with me from me anytime, you just have to say the word, I'll get on the plane and I am there for you, only for you..... I love You.... DMD